one of the many firsts #day3
April 06, 2021
10.43pm
Well, the ball wasn't in my court and I can't goal.
I couldn't study today. I want to, now, but I'm too tired and I have other things to do, to prepare for tomorrow. So I better prepare for that now than be the odd one out.
This is my first Statutory audit and I was excited, I'm excited. It's good so far. Today we verified the cash and cash related things. It's fun, food and all. Everything's fine but there is a guilt and regret feeling that's bugging me. You know, I just feel I should have done that, I should have just concentrated on that, I should have...... There are so many 'I should haves' popping up, which I didn't do when I had the opportunity to do. I cannot fill the void in these few days and act accordingly. I need to work on how I can do better, how I shouldn't let my shortcomings affect my future and further learnings. I know what I should do, but idk how, in finding that how I will forget my what. So this was happening all the time. Today, I was tired of acting that I'm so and so, I'm tired of people who made me feel very low, I'm tired of sarcasm and I'm tired of mockery.
However, I found inspiration here, at this place. Practice is really totally different from theory. But I just don't want to do the same thing tomorrow, I want to do some other thing, explore a new area.
I'm trying to accept things. I'm trying to let myself know this is my first time and the first time is where you learn, most of the times by seeing and observing what others are doing, rather than you doing it yourself. Because you don't know what to do. So I'm trying to accept that it's okay if I don't understand something if I cannot do some things if I'm unable to give the best even if I tried my best. It's okay, really. So just enjoy while you can and learn. Please do, if not, your future self will regret like you are doing now.
Well, this was for study purpose but here in learning some new things in the field.
"You don't always need to fly, but prepare your wings" - S.D (alostgirlsdiary)
© Sushritha Danturi 🌻
I dare to dream
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