selfishness, situations, and me

Did you ever give a thought about being selfish and being generous? Or did you ever got confused in defining what selfish meant in actual? Or when to be selfish and when not?

There are times when we want us to be understood by the people we love. Because often they are the people who thoroughly observe the changes in our behaviour, for what we were and what we are becoming. They say we are becoming selfish, we are thinking only about ourselves, and the same phrases like this, which often leave us in a dilemma. Whether what we are doing is right or wrong. We don't know what to do next, whether to think about ourselves or others, we question our instincts. Isn't it?

Tell me, in this generation of millennials, can we find a single person who is selfless? Everyone is selfish. But when we behave selfishly, and when we behave selfless talks more about us. Situations change, people change. Life moves on. And you call me selfish because I choose myself over you, I feel it is not right. There are no rules for me to behave the way you act in some similar situations. I may not find it right, I may think it is not worth my attention.

This too is selfish of me writing about people calling me selfish. But there isn't any law that asks me not to be selfish. Selfish to get some space, to get some peace of mind, to ignore your texts and messages, to eat what I want. I'm not the one who wants to be pointed out for the changes that happen in my life and the way I'm trying to adapt to them. Life happens, it hits you hard, and you have no choice but to go with the flow and accept the change.

PC: Pinterest

Situations may define who we are. But they go, they are just some instances in our lives. Don't you dare judge me for the way I behave in some parts of my life and define who I'm as a whole? Give people some time to analyse their way of thinking, their behaviour and everything. Help them understand rather than pointing out those mistakes and having a laugh.

Sometimes I don't know how to behave in some given situations, how to react. I'm scared of being judged for what I do. Should I laugh? Should I go console? Should I just stand silent? Whatever I do, there will be one judging me, drawing my character sketch. If I choose to stand aside, maybe it helps me from fighting all those people. Maybe not. But what I'm trying to say is it is okay to be selfish, to think about ourselves first.

I may be on the judging side too, judging someone for not helping, when they are thinking about themselves first. But it's wrong. I'm learning. I'm trying to change. Why don't you try to think about it from the perspective of that person? What thoughts might be running inside their minds, how they are fighting within themselves. Sometimes they don't even know they are being selfish. And we are ready to make them feel guilty about that.

'I' is not a word that only defines selfishness. 'I' also defines the self-love, self-respect, self-priority of oneself over the deep shit going on around us. But when 'I' is you, it becomes self-love, self-respect, self-priority. And when 'I' is some other, it becomes selfishness.

How is that fair? - Sushritha.D 

This doesn't mean we should be cold-hearted and leave people when it is not benefitting us. Just that we need to learn when to be selfish and when not. Think about why they are doing what they are doing before judging someone for being the way they are.

©Sushritha Danturi